Last week, I was driving around with the kiddos during our daily morning drive (i.e. my futile attempt to get them to both nap to make the day less tedious for myself) and I noticed my gas tank was nearing empty. I pulled off at a gas station I had never been to before but assumed was typical of many gas stations, put on your mask and fill up your tank..no big deal. I'm outside at the pump with my mask on when I realize (now I either missed this due to dad brain or just carelessness) that the pump had a piece of paper taped to it that instructed all patrons to see the clerk inside for a pair of surgical gloves before they filled their tank. Man, I felt like the world's biggest dick in that moment. I was so mad at myself for missing what was this station's mandatory means of allowing people to fill up.
I didn't even finish filling my tank, just enough to get home before ducking and running back into my car to avoid the stigma of being THAT GUY. I called my sister to bitch about the whole "no two gas stations are the same" when she reminded me..."You have hand sanitizer, right?" Of course...nope, forgot that too. Now I'm just angry, paranoid, and feeling like the most irresponsible piece of garbage in the world. She had a good laugh at that, probably redemption for every time I teased her when she'd call me outside of drive-thru to get coffee asking me what the etiquette was in terms of "Do I wear a mask Eddie? Or will I look like I'm overreacting?" That's the thing about this whole ordeal, we are without that leadership telling us...oh hey, do this EVERYWHERE. Then again, our "leader" is so god damn vain he won't wear a mask in public (but I digress). Then today, dressing the kids. Getting in a standoff with a three year old who would rather watch PJ Masks..finally he acquiesces. Prepare a drink for him. Prepare a bottle for the baby. Strap the kids in. Alright. I got everything. The oldest has his device. I have my phone. I have my keys. I have my wallet. I have my mask and my gloves...we're good here. Nope. Realized...I gotta get gas. I forgot my sanitizer. As I was pissed off at how absent minded I can be in a rush, this song came to mind:
I got my Phone. Wallet. Mask. Disinfectant. Keys...and then I saw my first
"Thankful Tree" which I spotted just moments after my oldest (who as tired as he was wouldn't sleep) told me that his coconut water gave him diarrhea. Then I thought, dear god if I wanted him to sleep on this ride why would I give him the 3 year old equivalent of Colon Blow ?
Also....
When the hell did they fast track all of these quarantine yard signs? I feel like I see them everywhere. I love the birthday drive bys. My wife is adamant that she would rather have 6 birthdays for our youngest as he turns one in July (four days before me) while I told her, if he doesn't get a drive by...perhaps she can organize one for me? I'd love to have a firetruck at my house to say hello, who wouldn't?
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September 2021
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