*WARNING: This a review/rant that would be better served in a type of Denis Leary rap that only Denis Leary can deliver. Short story long? Its got run-ons baby…deal with it. “Sometimes things don’t make sense, until the end of the story” I finished watching Bill and Ted Face the Music…and I haven’t stopped crying except to pack Dylan up and drop him off at his Mimi’s house. Before I left he told me that he loved me and gave me several hugs and kisses, as I turned my back to him to walk to the car he grabbed onto my legs told me several more times that he loved me and gave me additional hugs and kisses. I then got into the car, waved good-bye and turned the corner and sobbed for so long I had to keep driving in circles until I could stop. I was finally able to get a hold of myself and found a sleeping baby in his car seat when we made it back home. He is now sleeping in my bed while I watch him on the monitor, writing this, and re-watching Bill and Ted Face the Music less than two hours when I finished it. I don’t think I am being hyperbolic at all when I say…this is the film 2020 needs right now. Don’t get me wrong, it isn’t a flawless film. It won’t wow you with its cinematic brilliance, but in its own very charming and subtle way? It will come as a revelation to you. Since March, the entire world has been socially distancing from one another with the hope of flattening the curve regarding the Coronavirus outbreak. When I started seeing the “We’re all in this together” signs in people’s yards it made me optimistic that for once, maybe this country will finally get its shit together once and for all and sadly it would be because of this proverbial equalizer. Instead? Corrupt politicians propagated partisan ideologies while goading their dogmatic supporters to use their affluence and ignorant bravados to weaponize the American dream. Marginalized communities stood up and got nose to nose with these violent militias disguised as suburbanites and blue collared everymen and women to speak their truth and do you think Trump’s American listened? NO WAY. Instead, it responded with violence and doubled down on white nationalism. A repugnant and petulant geriatric leader cowered behind his cell phone and spewed vitriol and fallacies on social media while cities were burning, the staggering number of COVID-19 cases forced millions out of work and into coffins, there were protests, there were counter protests, there were freak outs over mask mandates, toilet paper became a coveted commodity…in short? The great equalizer? It never came. So, a film about two persistent goofballs trying to fulfill a shared destiny to bring harmony to the world and restore humanity that was bestowed upon them when they were just teenagers who needed to not fail their History class coming to terms with middle age and the reality that they spent their whole lives trying to achieve something that never came to fruition? *GASPS FOR AIR* Yeah, it resonates…and it probably won’t resonate more than it should because it’s a decades old franchise and its meant to be a turn your brain off comedy. One of the greatest achievements of this movie? Was that it retained all the aspects from the previous two films that made me love them, but it put greater emphasis (and who could have predicted? Ironic considering it’s a time travel movie) that the greatest equalizer for society? Kindness. That’s it. That’s all. Kindness. Because when we’re kind to each other, when we’re tolerant, inclusive, and when we realize that what makes humanity so great is what we achieve when we work together and when we are united by something that reminds us of what we can accomplish together we are more. Then add being a parent into that equation. My first viewing of this film was spend chasing after my one year old so he wouldn’t antagonize his older brother from trying to beat on him. I had to pause it several time to break up fights, calm a teething one year old, reprimand a three-year-old for stealing Oreos out of the cabinet at seven in the morning, peeing all over the toilet seat, refusing to pick up after himself, and screaming for absolutely no reason at all. That might not be the most compelling or satisfying reality to those reading this, but for me? That is a reality I feel privileged to get to live. I love my children even when they cause me to question the smallest iota of sanity they are generous enough to leave me…but its worth it comparing to the alternative. Cut to a film about two fathers who are trying to unite the world, save reality, and try not to lose their wives and disappoint their kids at the same time. Its no longer parents just don’t understand…its children just don’t understand, and when they do? Tears upon tears upon tears. It’s a selfless movie. Bill and Ted are just trying to save the world. Their daughters are now trying to save them. Then everyone winds up trying to save each other. There are plenty of personal reasons this film struck a chord, but for the sake of this writing I’ll just say this (I’ll write a second part later)…. it is just so much fun. It helps you forget what a dumpster fire 2020 is, you’ll forget about Trump, you’ll forget about COVID, you’ll forget about the consequences of a major election, and for one hour and thirty-two minutes? You’ll get to live vicariously through a world that is on the verge of collapse but still has people in it who want to save it by doing what we should have been doing this whole time. Being excellent to each other. Working together. Helping each other. BEING KIND TO EACH OTHER. If you’re a longtime fan of the Bill and Ted films, you certainly don’t need my endorsement to see this movie you’re going to anyway. If you haven’t seen the Bill and Ted films? Do yourself a favor and watch all three of them. If you are slightly disappointed that I didn’t actually give a review of the movie I mainly ranted on the state of the world…. This film made me realize how much I missed my friends Bill and Ted and how heartbreaking it was to have to say goodbye to them. For a sequel being released so many years after its predecessors and still possessing the magic and the ability to just transport you somewhere that makes your heart smile and fills you with a ridiculous amount of optimism in a current reality where optimism will make you fodder for the goosestomping contention of the Cheeto monster followers…you’ll realize you stopped caring if it was going to hold up, because it felt like you never left. Even better? You’re elated to realize that you’re exactly where you belong.
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