It has been a little bit since I have written a blog, a good friend of mine was concerned maybe something was wrong. I reassured him just doing my best to utilize my new Instagram account to spread the word that this thing is out there, and it does exist. Admittedly, I am absolutely god awful at using it. At thirty-three years old I feel like a dinosaur when I am trying to comment on a reply or post, and I find myself three threads deep (spelling errors GALORE!) trying to finish a thought. I work better with a laptop than my smartphone, and even that can be questionable. My head works so much faster than my fingers that I often find myself just typing everything my brain wants to produce and cater to the ideology…meh, I will fix it later.
I have also been trying to do more than simply have a social media account to say “Oh hey, remember me? Buy my book!” I find myself reconnecting with people again, or for the very first time? Reaching out to people who have just remarkable stories. I do my best to find a balance between promoting my book and getting on my soapbox about this upcoming election. Did you vote? I took so much pride in dropping off my absentee ballot at the town hall while my boys watched. Sadly, you don’t appreciate democracy until you have a glorified autocrat who fancies himself a fledgling authoritarian claiming that he is the poster child for law & order when the rest of us just see flagrant corruption and malfeasance. It’s a tough thing to navigate because on the one hand, I am a while male American so I don’t want my personal ideologies or notions to come across as efforts for virtue signaling or missing the god damn point entirely. However, as a white male American…should not it be my job to take time with what I am hearing, what I am seeing, but also make a point to address it? I do not want to be one of those complacent morons who sits back and says well let these people handle it, they know more than you and they are much more qualified to talk about these things. One of the big reasons I want this book to be read is because I do feel it addresses one of the biggest problems in this country, this fallacy about the nuclear family and the detriment of that propaganda. It is not just the current administration, America has propagated this narrative for decades about what the nuclear family should look like, where they should live, and where they should fall in the social hierarchy. I was talking to another friend last night about being in the Special Education program and how emotionally humiliating it was as a child. I never heard him talk like that before. We had several classes together, but we never really addressed what we were both individually thinking in our respective corners. I remember being pulled out of classes in front of all my peers and brought to the basement to take memory tests and have recorded interviews about my family. It was humiliating, but a necessary evil for someone like me who had a non-verbal learning disability. I remember being in a sociology class and realizing through a video we were watching that I never stood a chance because of my learning disability. It really resonated with me that my friend brought that up. I talked with another person I went to school with who is out of the closet and just loving herself and treating herself with so much respect because she finally feels liberated and free of the cumbersome burden of who she was supposed to be. Its been a much different experience this go around on social media than it was when I was a depressed and miserable twenty something just dying for anyone to try and save me or give me the answers that eluded me. I am sorry I have not been very good about keeping up with this blog lately, but eventually people will stop caring about the book or stop caring about me talking about it and this will become my only refuge again.
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September 2021
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